Again-from June 2009

Couple of days ago I finally moved aside a painting I had been working on for many weeks
To stretch and prime a new canvas. It’s still probably not done.Re-hung it so I could keep an eye on it as I move into the new one.
The new one.
Nice,
White clean square. About 6ftx 6ft.
Just a few layers of flat house paint.
Got a nice even surface ready to begin work in the next few days.

The process was so satisfying.
I’ve been struggling with so many emotions recently that I was unaware through most of the priming how calm I had become.
Just completely satisfied.
Sated.
How old all this is.
How many times has this been done.
By others.
By me.
So essential. So simple.
looking and seeing everything .
Everything.
I am so lost in so many ways right now.
Off balance.
Personal. Professional. So feeling challenged in the day to day.
Bored too.
But this.
This ancient, essential thing that
I as a painter do
got me through.
I felt elated.
So very alive…and ready.
It’s so easy to forget this .This what in what painters all know.
Before the first mark
Bringing chaos to that field
You dwell in the ecstasy of Titian, Dove...
Of the potential.
Nothing else can ever equal that moment of anticipation.
Beginning. Again.