A day of feeling-no more and definitely no less.
Should have been in the studio getting ready (less nervous by being active) for a visit in a few weeks-one which could get me back to showing.
Instead chose to be in a veritable "fetal position" at home.
Ok, so you probably think I'm scared. Well I am actually-I've never questioned the fact that my paintings should "be out there" just that I have to be a part of the process beyond giving them life-
I would have said " birth" but enough is enough.
Enough.
I'm scared showing them to complete strangers again. How can they know my works worth?
Just looked at what I said-what a fucking stupid statement. Why can't they discern what I always feel that I can of others work?!
Man. Am I nervous about all this.
My fear of success is rearing it's ugly face again.
I am that good.
I just hope someone else can see that-commit to that.
I don't want to die abandoning these paintings.
They're me.
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