The following was originally posted just before Christmas last-the article about the murder suicides I just now found. I cannot believe this horror.They were such wonderful people-to me-to all.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Returning students today.And escape of sorts.
Seems it's expected of me to absolutely hate it.
You know show that curmudgeonly valor. Old Sod stuff. Scrooge and a favorite cult mixed up in a shitty old great coat.
Truth to tell I really was overwhelmed.
My emotions.
Really missed some. Needed to give and get sloppy hugs. Nope. Can't.
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Not having committed to a family.The kids,the wife, the mortgage "working towards the future"shit- seeing them shows me where, with a tip in my direction I could have been expecting to come "home" to family, love today. NO. Never a possibility. I always leave-emotionally then physically.Why do I joke about this?
Christ I hate the fact- AFTER the fact that I cried some driving back.It's the same litany of loneliness, self loathing that I couldn't keep a love in my life again. Of course.That always seems to be there lately. .
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Thinking about you Eric- so very much now. You expect, at least I did, the pain and anger to ease up after so long.
Its just gotten heavier.
I wish to God I had been able to do something. Something.
I could have helped you.It's my job.A gift. You came to me to find understanding and care.
I could have saved you.Got you to experts.
I failed you Eric. I really did.
Seeing you today would have been so very wonderful.
Should have hugged you today
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| Stunned, silent members of the Southern Christian Leadership
Conference in Dr. King’s room at the Lorraine Motel, April 4, 1968,
including Andrew Young (far left, under table lamp) and civil rights
leader and Dr. King’s colleague, Reverend Ralph Abernathy, in the middle
on the far bed. “I was very discreet,” Groskinsky recalls. “I shot just
enough to document what was going on. I didn’t want to make a nuisance
of myself. There, almost in the center of the picture, in the mirror you
can see my reflection. I took a couple of pictures and just kind of
backed off.” Henry Groskinsky—Time & Life Pictures/Getty Images |
Thursday, July 5, 2012
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